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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324350">The Piña Colada Fic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookaburrito/pseuds/kookaburrito'>kookaburrito</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boypussy, Coming on Face, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Escape (Pina Colada), M/M, Rediscovering each other, Sub Crowley (Good Omens), Vaginal Sex, blowjob, pina colada fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:21:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,415</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookaburrito/pseuds/kookaburrito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The obligatory piña colada fic, later spiralling into absolute filth.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Piña Colada Fic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I didn't find a "Piña Colada fic" in this fandom, so I just had to write it. If you've written one or have read one for these two, please hit me up. Also, this premise is so perfect for them, isn't it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Love, can you turn down the halo? It’s really bright,” Crowley grumbled. He really didn’t like it when Aziraphale read in bed before sleep. During sleep. And all the other times, instead of actually, you know, sleeping. Or letting Crowley sleep for all that matter.</p><p>“Oh, is it bothering you, sweetheart?” Aziraphale asked, dimming it just a tad bit, so it reached full-moon level of brightness, instead of scorching tropical sun.</p><p>Crowley’s whole face scrunched in annoyance.</p><p>“Why don’t I just go downstairs to read, and you can have your precious sleep?” Aziraphale asked innocently, though if it’d been anyone else this question would’ve sounded like a warning shot. His empathetic tone annoyed Crowley even more.</p><p>“Why is it so much to ask for you to stop reading once in a million years and just sleep here?”</p><p>He really wanted to add a self-deprecating ‘with me?’, but suddenly was too embarrassed to actually say it out loud.</p><p>“I have so much reading to catch up on,” sighed Aziraphale. “Books have really become mainstream lately, well, compared to previous centuries at least. Everyone’s writing autobiographies and cookbooks and such, I think it’s simply delightful. And honestly, you know how I feel about sleep, my dear.”</p><p>“Go then,” Crowley mumbled, and turned away from Aziraphale.</p><p>He felt disappointed to hear a shuffling of wings and the bed becoming instantly cold. The room gradually fell dark, as Aziraphale walked down the stairs.</p><p>***</p><p>It happened way too often.</p><p>Crowley sighed. Maybe, like they said, love really only lasted for about three millenia. Then you fall out of love and fall into habit.</p><p>He did love Aziraphale with all his heart. No one could ever compare to him. But now, after so many passionate declarations of love in the rain, saving each other from the Armaggedidn’t, long nights of steamy lovemaking, after all the excitement of settling down into their own cozy nest in the South Downs... Maybe the flame was really dimming a little bit.<br/>
Crowley missed those days when his heart would pump out of his chest just at the thought of turning up to the bookstore with a bottle of wine and seeing Aziraphale’s face light up, and him making a whole show of “not being seen with the foe” while poorly disguising his delight. Those nights when the slight brush of fingertips as they passed the bottle of wine back and forth was enough to make Crowley go insane with desire. </p><p>But now everything was… different.</p><p>Right now Crowley was observing Aziraphale reading the paper with his glasses perched on the tip of his nose, bound to fall off - that for some reason irritated Crowley to no end - and dipping chocolate chip cookies in a glass of milk and gobbling them down one by one as he did each and every morning for the past five years. </p><p>“Who even reads the paper nowadays?” Crowley asked, realizing that he said it out loud a little too late. </p><p>Aziraphale gave him a <i>look</i>.<br/>
“What is it with you and reading, my dear? Care to dwell upon your problem?” Aziraphale actually put the paper down.</p><p>“You seem to be doing an awful lot of that,” Crowley said, feeling bitter.</p><p>“Just because we’re… retired, and living in the middle of nowhere, it doesn’t mean that we ought not say informed.” said Aziraphale pointedly, “There might be news. You know. From our head offices, so to say.”</p><p>“Ever heard of the internet, angel? Or is the signal poor in heaven?” Crowley couldn’t resist mocking him, knowing full well that he’d regret it. Mentioning heaven to Aziraphale, after the angel worked so hard to put the trauma behind him, was truly a low blow. He realized it instantly, and hurried to finish his coffee in one swift movement. Before Aziraphale could even reply, Crowley took his jacket and mumbled, “Gonna go into town for a bit.”</p><p>As he rode the Bentley on the narrow streets that were definitely not designed for cars like these, Crowley once again thought about Aziraphale. </p><p>Now he’s gonna ride for a few hours, then inadvertently become consumed with guilt. Then he is going to stop at the pie shop in town, no matter how hard he tried to resist. He will order the same two pies, caramelized pear and gruyere cheese for Aziraphale, ever the gourmet, and chicken and rosemary for himself. He will ride back to the cottage, not say a word of apology, but as soon as Aziraphale will see him with the pies he’d forgive his snappiness and the unkind remarks, and they will eat, and Aziraphale will say something about the cheese being just delightful, and then he will mindlessly waste a few hours laying down on one end of the sectional, as Aziraphale read on the other end, until it would be time to go to bed. And Aziraphale will cuddle him a little bit, maybe, but then once again start to read. And the story would repeat itself.</p><p>Crowley wished in his heart that something would be different. Maybe Aziraphale upon greeting him would just put a finger on his lips, shushing all of his unnecessary words, and would mischievously lead him to the bathroom, where a hot bath with bubbles and candles, and yes, rose petals, why not, would be waiting for them. Or maybe he would surprise Crowley with two tickets to see a new play in London, and would miraculously make them appear there in the front row, all dressed up to the occasion, and after the play they would visit the Ritz just like in the old times, and gossip about the actors. Or maybe Aziraphale would just greet him with a passionate kiss, one of those kisses you see in the movies, ready to ravish Crowley as soon as he’d come in, pies falling to the floor and making a mess, but they wouldn’t give a damn about it, too busy kissing like the world truly did end…</p><p>Crowley sighed. He reached the pie shop and pulled over. </p><p>Of course Aziraphale wasn’t one to do anything of the sort. But wouldn’t it have been amazing?</p><p>***</p><p>After eating the pies, Aziraphale settled down in the armchair to read, and Crowley took the dishes to the kitchen, disappointment bubbling inside of him. As he fixed the plates into the washing machine, he noticed the morning paper. He looked down and an exotic word caught his eye…</p><p>"If you like piña coladas</p><p>And getting caught in the rain</p><p>If you're not into yoga</p><p>If you have half a brain</p><p>If you like making love at midnight</p><p>In the dunes on the cape</p><p>Then I'm the love that you've looked for</p><p>Write to me, and escape"</p><p>Piña coladas? How long has it been since he actually went to a bar? Felt young and hip? Aziraphale wasn’t one to go to bars. Crowley imagined a mysterious stranger sipping cocktails at the bar, and eyeing him with curiosity. That spark of attraction, the rush adrenaline, the easy conversation, and the guessing game of whether or not this night will lead to more.</p><p>He felt his skin grow hot with arousal and shame. How could he? Aziraphale was right there.</p><p>He looked over to the living room, and saw that his angel fell asleep and was snoring a little, glasses askew on his nose.</p><p>The clock showed eight thirty.</p><p>Crowley felt the previous irritation bubble over. Was that it for them? Just marinating in this cottage, doing nothing all day? Falling asleep earlier than toddlers, instead of living their lives to the fullest? Just the thought of it was suffocating. Crowley itched to take another ride in the Bentley just to prove that he was not yet decrepit to that degree.</p><p>His eyes once again betrayed him and sneaked a glance on the counter. The paper was right there, offering a possibility.</p><p>Something new.</p><p>He will not reply to that message, that was silly. Who even writes to the paper these days?</p><p>Crowley eyed the paper again. It was too inviting.</p><p>He took it and quietly shuffled upstairs.</p><p>He read the note over once again. He loved the fresh style of it. None of that “Male widower, 68, looking for a housewife with passion for gardening” kind of nonsense. Just a few words that painted a much brighter picture. How long has it been since he was caught in the rain? </p><p>And that promise of an escape… </p><p>Crowley settled down behind the desk. Usually Aziraphale worked here on deciphering his vintage books. Crowley felt a pang of guilt at what he was about to do. But he couldn’t help it.</p><p>He wrote:</p><p>"Yes, I like piña coladas</p><p>And getting caught in the rain</p><p>I'm not much into health food</p><p>I am into champagne”</p><p>God, champagne. That was really something he was into. He got up and found an unopened bottle. Surely, Aziraphale wouldn’t mind? After all, it was him who fell asleep on the couch and missed this opportunity.</p><p>Crowley poured himself a glass, and drank it with fast gulps. The bubbles went straight to his brain. How long has it been since they drank something stronger than wine? Something more fun, reckless? To make them forget sorrows and do silly things together?</p><p>He remembered how once they got drunk in a bar and Crowley convinced Aziraphale to dance. And that was the first time Aziraphale danced something other than that embarrassing Gavotte thing. At first they were goofing off to some fast tune, Aziraphale stepping on his feet and laughing, and then suddenly the song changed to a slow one. With a sort of bashful innocence, Aziraphale’s arms slid around Crowley’s neck, and then they started swaying to the rhythm, comfortable and safe in each other’s embrace. </p><p>Oh, how he longed for that feeling. Maybe it was the champagne, but he felt truly miserable in that moment. He just needed soft arms around his neck, and for someone to look at him like he lit up the moon and the stars, and to feel reckless and in love again.</p><p>Crowley realized with instant clarity he couldn’t miss this chance.</p><p>He wrote down hastily:</p><p>I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon</p><p>And cut through all this red tape</p><p>At a bar called O'Malley's</p><p>Where we'll plan our escape"</p><p>Instead of bothering with stamps and envelopes, he just snapped his fingers and made that message appear on the desk of the paper’s editor. And by some miracle, so to say, the note was already marked to be included in the next week’s issue.</p><p>***</p><p>That whole week Crowley felt jittery.</p><p>Was he cheating on Aziraphale? By writing that drunken note? By trying to connect and flirt with some stranger, who certainly was a romance-craving middle-aged woman who watched too many rom coms in her spare time... Flirt with the idea of an escape. Exchanging sweet, wonderful Aziraphale, whom he ardently loved for millenia, who made him pancakes for breakfast, who tended to his plants with such care they thrived like never before, who was there for him when Crowley needed him the most, exchanging the love of his life for someone he has never even seen. Someone he didn’t even know anything about.</p><p>He was truly going insane.</p><p>Whenever Aziraphale would put a hand on his back or ask him what was wrong, he’d shiver and jolt away, inventing some excuse to go on one of his half-day long rides. Ride for hours and hours until the Bently itself started playing tunes like “Stop, in the name of love” and “I can’t go on” for Crowley to take a hint.</p><p>He knew the paper would come out on Saturday, and Sunday would be the day of no return. How symbolic, instead of going to Church, he was actually going to Hell, and maybe, Heaven, depending on who that mystery person was.</p><p>On Saturday, Crowley couldn’t sit still. He already thought about the outfit he was going to wear, about the phrases he would say, about each particular detail. Surely, the person might not show up. Maybe they wouldn’t even see the paper, or would see the note late. Was he secretly hoping for that? For this little adventure to end before it started?</p><p>Crowley was behind himself with worry, and anticipation. So as not to give his inner turmoil away, he turned into a snake and settled in Aziraphale’s lap, seeking attention. Aziraphale sighed, contented, and began giving him little rubs on the head, and absentmindedly humming to himself. Outside, it started to rain. It’s been a long time since he felt so cozy. He almost decided not to go, but Aziraphale took up a book from the table and began reading it, focusing his attention once again on something else, and breaking Crowley’s little snake heart.</p><p>In that moment, Crowley decided there was no going back.</p><p>***</p><p>The next day came.</p><p>Crowley left the house as early as possible, crawling downstairs in his snake form to minimise the noise. He decided he couldn’t handle lying to Aziraphale’s face. Instead of inventing silly excuses, he just left a note which said:</p><p>“I’ll be late. Don’t wait”. He placed it on the counter, and noticed the irony of it lying right next to the paper, in plain sight of the evidence of his crime.</p><p>Crowley dressed to the nines in an outfit he prepared and hid beforehand in the car, his tightest black pants and a black silk shirt with a folded red handkerchief in the front pocket. He meticulously styled his hair in the mirror, trying to look his best.</p><p>He chose a bar in a neighboring town, so as not to raise questions from any casual acquaintances. Crowley chose that place on a whim, and now regretted his decision. Now that he was there, waiting for someone who could turn his whole eternal life upside down, he scolded himself for not thinking of anything a bit more romantic. This was a typical Irish pub, with a wooden counter, darts board, the tv with soccer on, and a couple of already drunk customers secluded in the corner. Surely, nothing quite fancy at all, no pina coladas or romance in sight. Hopefully, the person he was waiting for, would not fixate on these details. Or at least, they could laugh about it together.</p><p>He perched himself behind the counter, ordered a beer, and waited. </p><p>A million thoughts were rushing through his brain. Most importantly, how this was so so wrong. What the hell was he even doing there? Replying to a note in the paper like he was a 18th century maiden, desperately seeking out romance. But strangely, he felt an irresistible pull to those words, like the words belonged to someone who understood him deeply, someone capable to love him from the bottom of his heart. It was quite ineffable.</p><p>He imagined the mystery person from the paper. What would they look like?</p><p>Oh, please let it not be someone so young, Crowley would feel old around them. Surely, he was older than all humanity, but the youth these days was a totally incomprehensible species to Crowley. Has been for the past two hundred years. They would have nothing in common. In fact, the older this person was, the better.</p><p>Perhaps it was a woman. Crowley would’ve liked for her to be not too tall. Definitely shorter than him. He really didn’t understand all this craze for skinny women in the last century. Maybe, she’d be a little plump. Short and plump, yes. And blonde.</p><p>What if it was a man? He thought about dark, lean strangers and felt intimidated for some reason. He hoped that at least this man would have softer features. And soft hands, hands you’d want to hold. Maybe a nice little nose or some really expressive eyes. Blue, for example.</p><p>He didn’t even notice how his thoughts lingered back to Aziraphale, sitting alone at home, wondering if Crowley would return soon, probably fixing them both a delicious lunch. He willed himself to stop thinking about him, hoping for the insistent thought to go away.</p><p>What if that person would never turn up?</p><p>Crowley fidgeted on his bar stool, looking at his half-drank beer. He checked the watch again. He’d been waiting for ten minutes, and there were ten more to go. No new customers showed up during this time.</p><p>What was he even doing here? In the middle of another town, in some strange bar, waiting for a person that may have been busy at the time, or may have not seen his message in the paper at all? People looked for their perfect better halves all their lives, and here he was, betting on a single passage from a newspaper. It was all so ridiculous, so wrong. He felt disappointed in himself. </p><p>Crowley gulped the rest of the beer, wiped his mouth in one quick motion, and got up to leave, when all of the sudden the door of the pub opened.</p><p>Crowley took off his glasses to look, and fell back on his stool.</p><p>His heart thumped with one single sound.</p><p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p><p>It was Aziraphale.</p><p>Aziraphale scanned the pub, and then immediately saw Crowley at the counter. His eyes widened in shock for a split second. And then he smiled, his whole face softening and beaming at Crowley. It was truly a wonder to behold.</p><p>In small steps, Aziraphale walked over to Crowley. That walk of his, that hair, that smile, those soft hands nervously fidgeting. </p><p>They looked at each other for a minute or two, as if they haven’t seen each other for millenia. As if no one else existed apart from them, as if the whole universe had to stop and wait, until they realized what happened.</p><p>“I had no idea that you liked piña coladas,” finally said Aziraphale, eyes filled to the brim with emotion, a mix of nervousness and giddiness and a sense of wonder.</p><p>He waved the bartender over and ordered a piña colada. “No, make that two.” he added, turning his attention back to Crowley.</p><p>“You… Aziraphale... ” Crowley still couldn’t believe it. “It was you? All along?”</p><p>“You continue to surprise me, my love,” Aziraphale said, sitting down softly right beside him.</p><p>“Why… Why did you write that?” Crowley asked, voice filled with shock. He wasn’t blaming him, he truly wasn’t in that position, just deely baffled at the coincidence.</p><p>Aziraphale sighed, and looked at him, amused and exasperated.</p><p>“Well, this will be a whole explanation, darling. I hope you have time,” he said, and took a deep breath.</p><p>Crowley watched him, mesmerized. He couldn’t but stare at Aziraphale, unable even for one second to look away, as if he was bound to vanish.</p><p>“I was so… So sad. Don’t get me wrong, Crowley. I love you. I love you more than the stars and the moon and the universe. You know that. You must know. But lately, you’ve been so irritated. I felt inadequate doing anything I did. You were always judging my every move. I couldn’t eat cookies, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t do anything I loved without feeling like you’re angry at me… And I felt… Inadequate. Whenever anything happened, you would storm off out of the house, and disappear for hours. What was I supposed to think?”</p><p>Crowley still looked at him in deep shock. He never thought of the situation from Aziraphale’s point of view.</p><p>The bartender poured them two drinks with bright pink umbrellas. He looked like a grateful man who was deprived the pleasure of creating beautiful drinks for eccentric strangers in favor of pouring lager all day every day. Crowley thought he winked at them, but couldn't have been sure.</p><p>Aziraphale thanked him kindly, and turned to Crowley once again, looking him right in the eyes.</p><p>“So do forgive me for this mistake. I just truly wanted some of that romance back. That spark we had in the beginning. I was not looking for anything serious, my love, you have to know that. Just wanted someone to look at me like I mattered. Like they loved me. I would never cheat on you. And. You know how I’m with smartphones. The paper method suited me. It was more of an old fashioned thing for me… Trying to get my desirability back, in a way. I wasn’t sure anyone would ever reply, actually.”</p><p>Crowley took a deep breath, thoughts rushing in a torrent to him too.</p><p>He opened his mouth to reply, trying to convey to Aziraphale that he felt the same way, and tell him how deeply sorry he felt for causing such emotions, and he wasn’t in the least angry at him. Then he noticed the bartender watching them closely, clearly eavesdropping.</p><p>“I know… I know a nice little park around the corner. Would you mind going there with me to hear me out?”</p><p>Aziraphale laughed a little, finishing his drink.</p><p>“Sure, my darling. Maybe we’ll have a chance to get caught in the rain.”</p><p>Crowley took Aziraphale’s arm and they walked out of the pub arm in arm, like the old married couple they are. They walked to the local park, and found a small pond. Aziraphale saw a few ducks and smiled fondly, and Crowley mirrored his smile back at him. Somehow, everything felt thrilling, but also old and inviting. They’ve spent a whole lot of time feeding ducks in the previous centuries, getting to know one another fondly, falling in love over a duck pond just like this one.</p><p>They observed the ducks some more, and then Crowley turned to Aziraphale.</p><p>“You have to understand, Aziraphale. I love you. So much. I can’t imagine my life without you. All those times I was irritated, it was because you felt distant. You read and I couldn’t stand it, because I selfishly wanted you to myself. I wanted you to look at me with the same interest and I felt jealous. I want to be with you all the time, I want you to need me, to want me, to be around me, all the damn time. I know that I have you, but it would be nice to have that reminder from time to time, otherwise I start to act like a dick. I know, I understand now that I’ve hurt you deeply…”</p><p>“Dear…”</p><p>“No, let me finish. I really need to say this. But in my fantasies, in that thrill of chasing something new, I returned to you over and over again. I can’t imagine anyone else, I didn’t want to. I wanted it to be you, and when I saw you walk in, it’s like this calmness washed over me. Of course it was you, it was always you, from the beginning of times, and it will always be you, until the end times,” Crowley said, and felt tears well up in his eyes, feeling vulnerable but oh so grateful, “You are the love of my life, Aziraphale.”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, you know I feel the same way about you.”</p><p>Crowley took out the red handkerchief and dried his tears. He realized that for the first time in forever he wasn’t wearing sunglasses outside.</p><p>“I just think we need to talk to each other more. And try to do things together, things we both love. For a start, you could read to me, and I could take you on some rides, how about that?” Crowley asked, a whole lot of opportunities opening up before him. He couldn’t imagine that he felt so stuck before, when the answer was so simple, and right in front of him.</p><p>“You know I would love that,” Aziraphale smiled gently.</p><p>They stood some more, watching the ducks swim away and hide in the bushes.</p><p>Aziraphale took Crowley’s hands into his own, looked into Crowley’s eyes and said in a hushed tone. </p><p>“Dear, I think it’s time we go home.”</p><p>It was beginning to rain.</p><p>***</p><p>The insistent raindrops tapping on the windshield of the Bentley. Crowley nervously fidgeting with the steering wheel. Aziraphale’s hand, warm and heavy, rubbing his thigh. Never in his entire life Crowley wanted to be home right in that moment.</p><p>It was strange, because he felt a new sense of urgency, a thrill, but at the same time an honesty and vulnerability that he hasn’t felt around Aziraphale in so long, in some paradox way wanting him to go slower, to savor this moment.</p><p>At the next street light Azirpahale leaned in from the passenger seat.</p><p>“But tell me honestly, love, have you thought about it… Even for a second… Would you like to sleep with a stranger?”</p><p>Crowley nearly crashed into the car in front of him.</p><p>“What kind of question is that?”</p><p>“Sorry, dear, it’s just. I now feel like we can share anything. I feel so open with you. Isn’t it delightful that as a result of this mess we can be completely honest with each other?”</p><p>“Oh… Well, what about you?” Crowley dreaded the answer.</p><p>“I feel like, for me, it wouldn’t mean anything if it wasn’t with you. Absolutely nothing,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley felt a great weight lifting, “But did you imagine it? A stranger walking into that bar… Would you let them fuck you?”</p><p>And oh god, Aziraphale really needed to stop using such filthy words. It was so unlike him to use such words outside the bedroom, and felt so wrong and dangerous, and Crowley’s pants were already tight enough as they were. </p><p>“Honestly, no,” Crowley murmured, his skin growing hot by the second, “I wouldn’t feel as safe as I am with you,” he hesitated before adding, “But I really need you to fuck me now.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled like the cat who got the cream. His hand was rubbing higher and higher with slow, but insistent movements.</p><p>“Do you want it rough tonight, my love? We’ve never tried it truly rough. Want me to bite you?” he asked, whispering right in Crowley’s ear, and he felt that excitement in every cell. He knew this game, winding him up with dirty talk. They didn’t talk like that to each other in so long, it was like discovering a whole new Aziraphale. Except that it was indeed Aziraphale, the same angelic Aziraphale he loved.</p><p>And, to be honest, only Crowley knew how purely evil Aziraphale could be. </p><p>“I just want… I want… Nhh... Make me forget how to walk. Make me yours. Claim me,” Crowley growled illegibly, damning those red traffic lights in the middle of nowhere that he himself invented. </p><p>“You’re full of surprises, my darling. I can’t wait to discover you all over again,” said Aziraphale, pristinely returning his hand back into his lap, as if it wasn’t just inches away from that spot where Crowley was aching to be touched. </p><p>And in that moment Crowley hated this slow ride, the rain, the traffic lights. But also, he wouldn’t give away a single second of that torture.</p><p>***</p><p>They barely made it past the doorstep, and Aziraphale’s mouth was on Crowley‘s. Kissing him messily and off-center, like he wanted to devour him whole, his hand going to grab Crowley’s hair, wet from the rain.</p><p>Crowley grabbed back at him, succumbing to Aziraphale’s kisses, enjoying Azirpahale’s mouth, which tasted like sugar, enveloping him whole, his tongue licking him hungrily like he couldn’t get enough, his hands roaming at Crowley’s torso and cupping his ass. God, he truly was in heaven. The best version of it.</p><p>“Please please, I can’t wait, I need you now,” Crowley whined, completely unashamed, his hands trembling with desire, already unbuttoning Azirphale‘s shirt with practiced movements, feeling his heaving chest.</p><p>“Wait, honey, just a second…” Aziraphale took his hands into his own in a familiar gesture, kissing Crowley’s fingertips and slowing him down, “Talk to me. Tell me please, tell me if you want something new, I want to make it special for you.”</p><p>“I want… I want you to come on me… On my face,” Crowley whispered, surprising even himself. Indeed, that was something that happened a few times by accident, but he truly wanted Azirphale to do it on purpose, to use him, to claim him, to spill unabashedly all over him, unable to control himself with desire.</p><p>Aziraphale just looked at him for a second, eyes clouding with lust. A breath hitched in Crowley’s throat: an angel consumed by a deadly sin, truly a sight to behold. </p><p>Stepping slowly, Crowley led them to the armchair near the fireplace, where he imagined Aziraphale resting all those times, and himself on his knees, desperately sucking him off.</p><p>He all but threw Aziraphale there, and sat down on him, knees either side of his thighs, and gently cupped his face, and kissed him, and kissed him some more, while Aziraphale’s hands were grabbing at every inch of skin he could get, dragging him out of his shirt, unzipping his pants.</p><p>He urged himself to slow down once again, though his heart was beating wildly, and the anticipation was nearly killing him. Crowley saw how hard Aziraphale was in his pants, and just wanted to put his mouth on that thick, angelic cock, taking him whole, gagging on it, enjoying its weight and saltiness, smearing himself with precome, and oh, those delicious noises Aziraphale would make, and his words of encouragement, those hands grabbing at his hair, fingers dragging at the skin of his scalp, his whole ethereal being completely undone by desire for Crowley. He nearly came just imagining it, and took a deep nervous breath. </p><p>He began by tenderly kissing Aziraphale’s ear, and slowly sucked on his earlobe, then licked down his neck, loving Aziraphale’s sweet scent and the little oh oh noises he was making. His hands were rubbing Crowley’s ass, making him arch and his dick twitch in his pants, demanding attention.</p><p>“Wait, wait… Let’s just. You,” Crowley mumbled, urging Azirapahale’s hands to be still, and sliding down, until his knees hit the cold floor. He busied himself undoing Aziraphale’s pants, while the angel sucked in a breath, trembling with anticipation. </p><p>Crowley reached in, freeing that long cock of his, so hard and full and ready to be taken, mouth salivating with how much he wanted to taste him.</p><p>“Missed you so much,” he said, enveloping the head and giving it a good teasing suck, feeling Aziraphale’s thighs thrusting up, urging him to take more. </p><p>Crowley gave him a few deliciously slow strokes, watching Azirapahle squirm, then started jerking him off with steady movements, rubbing under the head just like Aziraphale loved, cupping his balls with the other hand, giving him all the attention he so desperately craved.</p><p>Aziraphale’s hands found his bare shoulders, his neck and ears, grabbing everywhere he could, scratching the hot skin, trying to steady himself and failing miserably. He thrusted messily into Crowley’s hand, and then into his mouth, that delicious, filthy hole, all hot and wet, and looked like he was loving every second of it.</p><p>It was something Crowley couldn’t ever deny: he loved sucking Aziraphale off. He just loved Aziraphale’s cock in his mouth, the feel, the taste, the noises, so familiar and so hot, there was absolutely no shame, just raw desire, he would’ve loved to spend hours like this, with the angel filling him up, gagging him, his throbbing cock desperately fucking in and out of his mouth, unable to control himself, and Crowley taking every inch like an absolute whore, sucking every drop of precome like it was delicious honey, his mouth and tongue aching, but ready to suck and lick and kiss and pleasure Aziraphale for eternity.</p><p>Aziraphale was moaning out loud, unashamed, spreading his legs even further, and Crowley also moaned around his cock, feeling like he wasn’t going to last, like he would certainly come untouched in his pants just at those expressions that Aziraphale was making, face scrunched up with desire.</p><p>“Fuck, I’m close, dear, I’m...” Aziraphale mumbled, hands pulling at his hair so hard it hurt, no doubt making a mess of his haircut, and Crowley took his mouth off of him, but continued to jerk Aziraphale’s cock with rough strokes, hearing his breath hitching like he was close, so close, so desperate to come.</p><p>It took just a couple more strokes and Aziraphale came with a choked off sound, in hot streaks, all over Crowley’s cheeks and mouth, and chin, painting him with come, making a complete mess. Crowley was unable to resist, his nipples hard as stone, as he felt himself coming too, untouched, in his impossibly tight pants.</p><p>“Crowley, dear, pardon the expression, but you’re divine,” Aziraphale exhaled, his head thrown back, breathing heavily and enjoying himself way too much, “I can’t believe that was something you wanted, and not my deepest wish.”</p><p>“I just want to indulge you. Nothing gets me off more,” Crowley said, proud of what he did and how he made Aziraphale completely lose it.</p><p>Aziraphale smiled gratefully, playing with Crowley’s hair, looking sated and happy.</p><p>“But now it’s your turn. Tell me what you want,” Crowley ordered, feeling suave, and in charge. He rubbed at Aziraphale’s bare thighs, with Aziraphale’s come still dripping from his chin, making a mess.</p><p>“Oh dear, you delicious, naughty snake,” Aziraphale smiled, leaning close, but then suddenly turned serious, “I want to take you upstairs and fuck the hell out of your cunt,” Aziraphale whispered right into his ear, not even flinching, and god was Crowley not prepared, knees instantly turning to goo, unable to hold himself up.</p><p>Aziraphale took him into his arms, bridal style, and carried him to the bedroom, their bedroom, to the bed they’ve shared for years, laying him down on it.</p><p>“Just really want your wet cunt tonight. Are you okay with that, my love?” Aziraphale asked softly, and Crowley trembled.</p><p>It was something they’ve never explicitly talked about. They’ve experimented with body parts, but Crowley never noticed any particular inclination that Aziraphale had. He actually secretly adored having a dripping wet pussy and Aziraphale fucking him, but Aziraphale was always so slow and considerate whenever they did it that way, and Crowley never had the heart to tell him that he could let himself go, and Crowley would’ve been very on board with that.</p><p>“So okay… I just… I never knew,” Crowley whimpered.</p><p>“Don’t worry, dear, please know that I love you in every way,” Aziraphale said, “I just felt like we never really. Explored that possibility to the fullest. And I’ve really, uhm… Thought about it a lot.”</p><p>Crowley was actually going to go crazy.</p><p>“Tell me,” he begged, already making an effort to change up in his jeans.</p><p>“Oh, I thought about it all the time,” Aziraphale said, peppering Crowley’s face with sweet kisses, his hands stroking down his bare chest, “thought about it whenever you took a shower, or prepared meals at the counter, or... Or whenever you sunbathed in the garden, just imagined coming to you and having my way with you... I wanted to prepare you slowly, making you so wet you’re squirming, my dear… Fucking you in plain daylight, and you taking my cock so well, so good.” </p><p>Jesus, Crowley thought. He would’ve adored all of that. </p><p>“Please,” he managed, already gone. </p><p>Aziraphale took off his pants, and spread his legs, admiring the delicious sight. He smiled mischievously, and leaned in, first working Crowley up with insistent fingers, then taking a long lick, and then licking some more, giving all of his attention to Crowley’s clit.</p><p>“Mmmmm. I can’t believe I never fucking knew you liked it,” Crowley breahed out.</p><p>“Feels good, love?” Aziraphale asked, voice high with desire.</p><p>“Heavenly,” Crowley mumbled, trying not to come just from the amazing feeling.</p><p>“You’re so wet already, so wet for me,” Aziraphale moaned near Crowley’s pussy, the vibrations going straight to his clit, making him shiver. He sucked in the clit, then licked around it, and Crowley echoed every move with moans, succumbing deeper into the feeling. He didn’t know how much time had passed, he just loved Aziraphale’s mouth of him, loved how wet he was already, feeling every nerve on fire.</p><p>“Can’t… Please, Aziraphale, please… Fuck...” Crowley moaned, unable to say anything remotely articulate.</p><p>“When you beg so sweetly, my love, I’m much happy to oblige,” Aziraphale said, getting up and aligning his cock, already fully hard and throbbing, to Crowley’s wet opening.</p><p>He pushed in, and they both moaned at the long forgotten sensation. Aziraphale began to move gently, and then rougher and rougher, picking up a rhythm, and Crowley’s hips were desperate to meet every move, the filthy sound of skin slapping on skin, Aziraphale’s cock slick with Crowley’s wetness.</p><p>“Missed this,” Crowley moaned, and reached up to kiss Aziraphale, cupping his face, suddenly overcome with emotions. Aziraphale slowed down a little and returned the kiss, kissing sweetly at Crowley’s lips, and then pulling his lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it a little. He knew these little details about Crowley, knew how to push Crowley’s buttons, because Crowley was instantly gone, picking up the fast rhythm once again, enjoying Aziraphale’s cock inside of him so much he could cry. </p><p>Aziraphale dipped down his hand between them and circled Crowley’s clit, rubbing it furiously and making Crowley buck up with new pleasure.</p><p>“I’m gonna come, angel, please,” Crowley moaned, unable to contain himself, filled with sensations. Aziraphale thrusted into him roughly, letting himself go, desperate to come again too.</p><p>They came at the same time, arching into each other, grabbing at each other, one hot tangled mess of demon and angel.</p><p>“God, I missed us having such good sex,” Crowley said, still embracing Aziraphale as if he was afraid to let him go, “I missed being near you.”</p><p>“Dear, we’ll certainly make up for it. I’m never gonna make you feel ignored ever again, I promise,” Aziraphale whispered, cuddling him close, stroking gently the hot, sweaty skin of his back.</p><p>“And I’m never leaving you alone now,” Crowley smiled mischievously and hugged Aziraphale close.</p><p>Aziraphale peppered more kisses on Crowley’s face, feeling his heart calming down, his breath getting steady.</p><p>”I’m so glad it was you. But truthfully, it couldn’t have been anyone but you.”</p><p>Crowley beamed at him, and said softly, already falling asleep from the exhausting day:</p><p>“You're the angel I've looked for…” </p><p>“Glad we escaped together,” Aziraphale mirrored his smile, also drifting off to sleep in the arms of his demon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was tired of my angel</p><p>We’ve been together too long</p><p>Like a worn out recording</p><p>Of a favorite bebop song</p><p>So when he lay there sleeping</p><p>I read the paper in bed</p><p>And in the personal columns</p><p>There was this letter I read</p><p>"If you like piña coladas</p><p>And getting caught in the rain</p><p>If you're not into yoga</p><p>If you have half a brain</p><p>If you like making love at midnight</p><p>In the dunes on the cape</p><p>Then I'm the love that you've looked for</p><p>Write to me, and escape"</p><p>I didn't think about my angel</p><p>I know that sounds kind of mean</p><p>But me and my old angel</p><p>Had fallen into the same old dull routine</p><p>So I wrote to the paper</p><p>Took out a personal ad</p><p>And though I'm nobody's poet</p><p>I thought it wasn't half bad</p><p>"Yes, I like piña coladas</p><p>And getting caught in the rain</p><p>I'm not much into health food</p><p>I am into champagne</p><p>I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon</p><p>And cut through all this red tape</p><p>At a bar called O'Malley's</p><p>Where we'll plan our escape"</p><p>So I waited with high hopes</p><p>And he walked in the place</p><p>I knew his smile in an instant</p><p>I knew the curve of his face</p><p>It was my own lovely angel</p><p>And he said, "Aw, it's you"</p><p>Then we laughed for a moment</p><p>And I said, "I never knew"</p><p>"That you liked piña coladas</p><p>And getting caught in the rain</p><p>And the feel of the ocean</p><p>And the taste of champagne</p><p>If you like making love at midnight</p><p>In the dunes on the cape</p><p>You're the angel I've looked for</p><p>Come with me, and escape"</p></blockquote></div></div>
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